Not a Child, Not Yet an Adolescent: Weathering the ’Tweens
The transition into the teenage years
can be difficult and confusing for
children—and their parents.
Understanding what your son or daughter is going through can help you give guidance during these critical years.
Starting around age 9 or 10, new hormones rage through your preteen’s body. These potent chemicals affect body, brain, and personality.
Changing Bodies
Almost yesterday, your little one was in diapers. Now, a mature young man or woman will develop. As puberty begins:- Hair sprouts under arms and in the genital area
- A growth spurt may occur
- Acne may erupt
- Boys grow facial hair
- Girls develop breasts and wider hips
As these changes occur, your child may start to wonder if his body is “normal.” Assure him that he’s OK the way he is. Explain that everyone goes through these stages, although at different rates. Watch for weight loss or other signs of body image or eating problems.
If your child shows signs of puberty before age 7 for girls or age 9 for boys, or hasn’t developed at all by age 14, you may want to consult a doctor. Most cases of early or late puberty are no cause for concern. But sometimes another medical problem can affect timing.
Changing Minds
The newest research shows the brain continues to grow and develop through the teenage years. As your child approaches adolescence, she’ll feel more independent. You might not recognize her at times as she experiments with new ideas. She’ll probably express her emotions more clearly, develop deeper friendships, and voice a stronger sense of right and wrong.What’s the most important thing you can do for her during this tumultuous time? Let her know you love her no matter what. Self-esteem will help her ride out the rough patches, and much of her confidence is based on how you treat her.
Be open and honest in your communication. Although you might get frustrated with your child’s mood swings, step away from the struggles to acknowledge good behavior. Praise him when he shares, forgives, or apologizes. It helps to set an example of kindness and respect in your own life, too.
