Quotes from former residents:
“A woman can find what she needs inside herself in order to become the person she is meant to be, rather than the person she should be.”
“Parenting is supported and guided in a non-judgmental way - a loving way.”
“Asking for help is not looked upon as a failure, but an incredible strength.”
“While I am at McAuley Residence, my goal is to gain inner strength. I want to leave here knowing that I am capable of doing things by myself and feeling good about myself.”
Story from one of our former residents:
It Just Takes Time…
"Kathari’s words kept ringing in my ears: “You won’t get off this path of self-destruction until you take time to find out what compels you to keep choosing this type of man, over and over again! One day I got it.”
After almost 18 months at McAuley Residence, I had found another job, another place, and tried to keep going forward. But soon after leaving McAuley, the same old yen for excitement returned, and then the legal problems caught up with me again. I lost everything I’d worked so hard to acquire, including my car and my license for two years. Here I was, losing everything and having to start all over again, and I was sooo tired of the cycle.
At a particularly low point, I did “hear” Kathari (Kathari Findlen, McAuley Residence social worker from 1999-2005) coaching me to explore why this pattern kept happening. She had been suggesting counseling, but I couldn’t be bothered, plus it is hard to fit in anything extra given the time constraints of fulltime employment and childcare coverage. Finally, I decided to try counseling. It has been so incredibly helpful that I continue to meet a counselor regularly. Now that I can finally see the red flags in time, I am free to focus on other concerns. The Residence staff taught us to advocate for ourselves, and to trust that within each of us lies precious inner resources.
Slowly I began to realize that one of the most valuable aspects of the McAuley transitional housing program for me was the STABILITY. With more maturity, I have tried hard to follow a schedule and be consistent; to really commit to the whole process of work (being on time, going every day, paying attention); to remember Roberta’s (Roberta Schatz, Support Specialist) lessons on budgeting, which I’d blown off earlier; and to again set goals for myself to keep going forward."
Jamie is but one of many examples how lives change at McAuley Residence each and every day. She has held a responsible position at Rite-Aid for two years, and combines it with another part-time job for a grueling 60 hour work week. Despite time on the waiting list of the Portland Housing Authority, her persistence has resulted in securing a nice apartment. She believes the housekeeping skills instilled in her at the Residence prepared her well for her new independence. She is proud of her stable permanent home. Her credit is good; she pays bills on time, and has repaid $6,000 in student loans. Next steps: save for a car; find a single well paying job; and enroll in USM’s nursing program.
We take great pride in the success of our alumnae who prepare themselves to find meaningful employment and stable housing. But, every woman leaves McAuley more prepared than when she arrived. The life skills acquired through our programs enable them to gain a sense of self while at the same time acknowledging that growth is dependant on the recognition that only they are accountable for their own actions.
Jamie’s story and many like hers are the direct result of the financial support from those who care deeply about our program. This year is no exception as women like Jamie find their way after a stay at McAuley Residence.
Jamie, we wish you all the best!
Interview by Sister Miriam Callnan, March 2007